Hemp Protein Brownies

It’s been miserably wet and cold. I was going to go shopping but I wasn’t prepared to brave the pouring rain so I reluctantly resigned to baking. For a change, I was going to bake something new, something obscenely healthy, something to justify being stuck at home, something with a good chance of fucking up and tasting like grit. What else was I going to do yeah?

And I did. I made a batch of insanely healthy brownies. Gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free, grain-free, vegan and all that jazz.  You wouldn’t be able to guess what else went into them either! Avocado, banana, hemp seeds, and spinach *gasps*

My first thought when I pulled the baking tray out of the oven was, “Uhh, what’s this? A slab of dung cake?” My eyes obviously didn’t take too kindly to them. What about my other senses?

I gave them a light touch, “Hmm, surprisingly soft and spongey”.

Why not give it a sniff? *brings my nose to the baking tray and takes a big sniff* Smells chocolatey enough.

Maybe its not as bad as it looks *takes a nibble*

*And another. And another.*

My god this stuff is surprisingly good.

*Smears cake with some green stuff*

Oh my, this is actually really good. There, I said it.

*Proceeds to gobbling. Om nom nom nom.*


Hemp Protein Brownies
Serves: 18-20
Prep time: 20 minutes
Baking time: 30 minutes
Adapted from purelytwins.com

1 cup hemp protein powder*
1/2 cup cacao powder
1/4 cup arrowroot
1/4 cup coconut flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1 tbsp dutch processed cocoa powder, optional
1 egg or 1 flax egg (1 tbsp flax meal + 2.5 tbsp water)
1/2 cup applesauce
1/2 cup hot water
1 tsp vanilla extract

* You can purchase hemp protein powder from health food shops. I made my hemp powder by simply blitzing hemp seeds in my blender. You can also replace it with almond or hazelnut meal.

1. PREHEAT oven to 175°C/350°F.

2. WHISK all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Prepare your flax egg by mixing 1 tablespoon of flax meal with 2.5 tablespoon of hot water. Allow to sit for a few minutes.

3. MIX in wet ingredients (applesauce, hot water and flax egg) with a spatula.

4. SPREAD mixture onto a 11″x7″ tin.

5. BAKE for 25-30 minutes. Allow to cool before icing. Store in the refrigerator.


Raw Earthy Mint Frosting
Prep time: 20 minutes

1 large avocado
1 1/2 large bananas
1/2 cup coconut butter*
6 tbsp coconut oil
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1-2 tsp peppermint
handful of spinach
1 tbsp water

* To make coconut butter, blend 1 cup of desiccated coconut with 1 tablespoon of coconut oil in a high speed blender for 2 minutes until ‘liquid’.

1. PREPARE your coconut butter if you don’t have any.

2. BLEND all ingredients in a high speed blender until smooth.

3. ICE the brownies. Refrigerate for an hour or so before slicing. Or slice brownies into individual slices and with a piping bag, pipe icing over brownies. Due to the nature of avocados, the frosting may turn slightly brown.


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